Sarang's Self-Indulgent Hot-Air Personality Page

This page is in its infancy, and will therefore cry a lot and wet itself. Oh yeah, it'll also probably be updated quite a bit. Quotes are not inserted in order, which makes it even harder to tell when this page is updated...

On the Subject of Me

• You know that guy who sits on top of the mountain and knows all the answers? That's not me. I'm the guy whose a little lower on the mountain, and easier to get to. I don't have all the answers, and I'm not always right, but I will invite you in and offer you a cup of tea.
• I'm a philosopher with a degree in mathematics, working as a computer programmer in a mechanical engineering department. Some people would say I have tremendous range. Personally, I just think I'm seriously confused. :)
• A quote that fits me all too well: "Mostly, when you see programmers, they aren't doing anything. One of the attractive things about programmers is that you cannot tell whether or not they are working simply by looking at them. Very often they're sitting there seemingly drinking coffee and gossiping, or just staring into space. What the programmer is trying to do is get a handle on all the individual and unrelated ideas that are scampering around in his head." --Charles M. Strauss

Sarang's Index

• Women Having Lunch with Sarang who have no romantic interest in Sarang: 5
• Women Having Lunch with Sarang who do have a romantic interest in Sarang: 0

My Favorite Quotes/Sayings

• "Fuck censorship" --unknown
• "He Who Gives Up Liberty For A Little Security Deserves Neither." - Benjamin Franklin
• "Computers are like graduate students; more complex than you might realize, but not actually able to think" -me
• "89% of all statistics are invented or incorrect ... or both" --unknown
• "Statistics is to mathematics what astrology is to astronomy" --me
• "Statistics are common nonsense" --me
• It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. --Fletcher Knebel
• There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. --Benjamin Disraeli
• "We may lose and we may win, but we will never be here again" -Eagles
• "Feminists are inferior to men..... and women... and most forms of plant life" --me
• Why is it that when a man talks sexy to a woman, it's sexual harassment, while when a woman talks sexy to a man, it's $3.95/minute? --Chris Wenham
• "You have to know enough to know when the person that's supposed to know doesn't know." --George Chapek
• "Abstinence is a deviant sexual perversion" --me
• Virginity Is Curable
• "Humanities majors ask the questions; Engineering majors have the answers; Business majors just don't give a damn" --me
• "There They Go, And I Must Hurry After Them, For I Am Their Leader"
• "Intelligence breeds knowledge; knowledge breeds headaches" --me
• "Imagination Is More Important Than Knowledge" - Einstein
• What Do You Mean I Can't Pay Off My Visa With My MasterCard? [actually you can!]
• "If you want a railroad to cross a river, you have to build a tunnel. Tunnels are very expensive"-- SimCity Multimedia CD [this has nothing to do with my personal beliefs.. it's just said in a very, very annoying way!]
• "SimCity needs a new stadium... or a new mayor.. or BOTH"-- another gem from SimCity Multimedia CD
• "No general statement is always true" --various (also "all generalizations are false")
• "Osmosis-- cause knowledge sucks" --me
• "Vegetables are dead!" --me
• "Remove the fertile ovary from the living creature (without anesthesia), tear off the ovary's fleshy covering, and then subject the naked ovary to intense pressure until the dead embryos are excreted and the ovary is reduced to a lifeless, mushy pulp. Collect and consume the liquid drippings." -- Sarang's Guide to Making Orange Juice (in its entirety)
• "Fur is murder... to clean"-- Pat Stevens (Nora Dunn), Saturday Night Live
• "I'll get a life when someone demonstrates that it would be superior to what I have now" -- Jim Quirk (Taki Kogoma)
• "Peace without Justice is Slavery" --me
• "Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked." --ROBERT D SPRECHT (RAND CORP)
• "Mean People Suck" [I'm not sure I agree with this, but it's certainly gotten popular quickly!; mail me if you know how this started]
• "I'm pro-choice... I believe a woman should be allowed to give birth if she chooses" --me
• "If your morals make you dreary, depend upon it, they are wrong. I do not say give them up, for they may be all you have, but conceal them like a vice, lest they spoil the lives of better and simpler people." -Robert Louis Stevenson
• "The wages of sin are death... but after taxes, it's more just a tired feeling" --various
• "God has no place within [schools], just like facts have no place within organized religion" --Principal Skinner, The Simpsons
• "The people who most oppose abortion are the same people who would have most benefitted from it" --me
• "I follow all the major religions... from a safe distance" --me
• "I'm not 'born again'... my mother got it right the first time" --anon
• "The United States Is In No Sense Founded Upon Christian Doctrine." - George Washington
• "When I'm too old for gangs, can I join your hate group?" --P.S. Mueller
• A cat that jumps on a hot stove will never jump on a hot stove again. Neither will it jump on a cold stove. --Michael Cameron
• • God is dead --Nietszche
  • Nietszche is dead --God
  • Nietszche is God --The Dead
• "No, I don't need Netscape to see your page properly; you need to change your page so it's proper"
• "Ban censorship" --unknown
• Byte me (see Sarang's Job Page when it exists for more about this)
• I hate quotations --Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some Useful Facts

• If you drink and drive... there's a very good chance... you'll make it home perfectly safely.
• Buying a lottery ticket does not signifigantly increase your chances of winning the lottery.
• Over 50% of all highway fatalities are caused by sober drivers... Don't take the risk... don't drive sober!

• "Music soothes the savage beast" (breast, not beast)
• "Play it again, Sam" ("again" should be deleted)
• "Beam me up, Scotty" (never spoken on ST:TOS, "n to beam up, Mr. Scott" is the norm)
• "Alas, Poor Yorick.. I knew him well" (Horatio, not well)

• "There are no [somethings] in Monte Carlo" (where from and what?)

• "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times"
• "Call me Ishmael"
• "But, but... Jerry(?) was a man" (where from?)
• "It's people!! Soylent green is people!"

• the Wilkes land
• his son, of course
• the North Pole
• 42

• Neptune, not Pluto, at least until 1999
• The Monkees, not Neil Diamond

• Tin roof, rusted

• $20, same as in town
• I said fetch the P-O-S-S-E
• He went off halfcocked
• "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
• "At these prices, I'm not surprised"

• The woman who turns and smiles at Phil Collins in the "Billy, Don't You Lose My Number" video during the "California Girls" parody is Phil Collins' wife.
• There is a minor character (Irish guy with the checkered coat) who appears in every episode of Cheers.
• When referring to computer peripherals, "mouse" is an acronym, whose plural is therefore "mouses", not "mice".

• Is there life before death?
• Where do all the identified flying objects come from?
• Can people predict the past?
• Can clarivoyants read your handwriting?
• Why do twins so often look alike?

• "I laughed, I cried" -- a manic-depressive
• "I wet my pants!" -- an enuretic

Send comments and/or help for any of the 'where froms' to: sarang@sarangworld.com

Featured links:

• Read my blog
• Need to contact me urgently? Send me an email and I haven't replied?
• Save the CFSI; help bring the complete Friends scripts back online!
• Nitpicker's Guide (of sorts) to Friends
• Time/weather/astronomy in various world locations

Please do not email this address: 00000000-48c16bea@st.sitesuck.com

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